“Fifty Shades of Grey” and Sex Education

Posted by drj on Sunday, February 22, 2015

Fifty Shades of Grey” and SEX Education

The book and movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” has stirred up quite a bit of controversy in many various social circles in our American Culture.  Although SEX is a titillating topic that can cause both hard and tender feelings to swell up in all of us, after the climax of the discussion has come to fruition, hopefully we can chill out again and be objective regarding our thoughts and feelings about SEX.  The key is to have actually thought through all the possibilities before we get caught up in the thrill of the discussion and controversy so we don’t have any regrets the next morning.

fifty shades of grey


So………………….. let’s take a quick stroll down memory lane, shall we?  Where did you first learn about SEX?  From other kids in your neighborhood?  From your father’s or brother’s stash of Playboy or Penthouse Forum magazines?  From your mother’s Harlequin Romance Novels?  From TV shows or movie theaters?  From your peers in the locker room?  From an uptight Sunday School Teacher, Pastor, Priest, Nun or Rabbi?  From your SEX education teacher?

Old School Teacher1

In other words, let me cut to the chase if I may, most of you DID NOT learn about SEX via a lengthy and thorough conversation with your parents.  Your parents were responsible for preparing you for the realities of day to day life and the sometimes confusing world that we live in.  Your parents DID NOT sit down and share with you, openly and honestly, how they learned about SEX when they were growing up.  Your parents DID NOT teach you about the Pros and Cons of experiencing SEX as a Teen versus waiting until you were married.  Your parents DID NOT talk with you about the morality and ethics of SEX (i.e., Where, when, who, how, and why).  Finally, your parents DID NOT talk with you about how to have a satisfying SEX life (i.e., SEX toys, lubricants, lifestyle choices, whips and chains, or pornography).

Parents talking with teens2

Let me make myself perfectly clear, I’m NOT promoting any particular lifestyle choices regarding SEX nor am I saying what is morally right or wrong.  HOWEVER, what I am saying is that the movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is NOT about BDSM.  Nope!  RATHER, the movie is about a young man who was not talked to by his parents about SEX.  Instead, he was taught by one of his mother’s friends while she DOMMED him from the age of 16 to the age of 22 (i.e., Child Abuse).  As a result, the character, Christian Grey, found himself merely repeating in his own life what he was taught about SEX as a Teen.  He was using BDSM as a protective barrier to meet his own SEXUAL needs while keeping himself safe from being hurt by others.  In short, he had a very warped view of SEX because his parents didn’t do their job and left it up to someone else to teach him.


In closing, I strongly suggest that you spend less time whining and complaining about the fact that “Fifty Shades of Grey” has been allowed to play in movie theaters across our country and that you spend more time utilizing the book and movie as a catalyst for discussion to talk with your Teens about your views of healthy, functional, morally correct, satisfying SEX.  If you don’t have this talk with your Teens, then you’re dropping the ball regarding their emotional, social, physical, moral, and spiritual development as Human Beings.  If you leave the teaching of the topic of SEX to your Teens up to other individuals, then you don’t have any right to complain about the book or movie.  Please take the time to thoroughly do your job and talk with your Teens about every possible aspect of SEX, including toys, lubricants, restraints, etc.

Parents talking with teens1

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